Maybe I should let go and forget all about the expectations that people set upon me. I am an eighteen-year-old girl who should cut herself some slack. I have to grow, I have to bloom, I have to recover, and I have to learn. I don’t always get it at first try, and I am not perfect. I am not that.
I get often get stuck with writer’s block while trying to complete papers that are due tomorrow. I often have to bite back my tongue just so I don’t hurt the other person; that does not change the hurt that is there, though. I often cry at night, tempted to give up on myself.
No. I am not perfect. I need to grow and I need to live life. I need to experience being human, because that’s how I know that I need Jesus Christ with me. That’s how I know why I can’t go on without Him. I can be all the human being that I want, but without His grace, I will not know what I should do with my stumbles and falls, my successes and joys. If He does not lead me, I will go in circles in life, following my whims or the ways of this world.
Yes, all of us are human. I am human and it’s beautiful. It is beautiful because His grace is the right light through which I see myself. My life.
I find You during the sleepless nights, when the seconds seem to slip as quickly as deadlines come upon me. You are hope and strength and comfort in my solitude and You tell me that with You, I can do all things.
I find You when other people’s words sting much worse than they should, my heart, resolve or security cracking just a little. You hold me up, hold me together; I am reminded that who I am is everything I’ve been given in You.
I find You whenever I meet dead ends, the enormity of mountains and walls keeping me frozen in fear. You lift me up, make me soar, and see me through. The stars tremble in awe of Your majesty, and oh, how these mountains tremble because of You.
You find me in my highs and lows. You hold me through it all. I see and experience You not because I’ve earned it, but because You chose to be near. In the darkest or the brightest, I find You because You’ve always been there. With me.
My journal is filled with questions. I am learning that I can not only admit that I have questions about life and about myself, but I can also come to God and give them to Him, because He also holds the answers.
Still, give thanks to God, for He is not a God who does things randomly. In every situation, He acts accordingly to promote you and bring you to a ‘better good.’ He does not leave you stuck in your troubles.
Remember that God will never promise anything that He is not able to do. He would not have started His good work in you if He will not finish it. Your God is good and faithful. He is the very definition of consistency. You may be believing in things that you cannot see, but because this faith is anchored in Him, it will surely bear fruit, beloved.
Today, I am filled with the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ. I am covered in His magnificent blood. His light radiates from me. Whatever I may face now, I am guarded with the truth. I am planted in the Solid Rock who assures me fully that my standing in my King Jesus Christ is always loved, blessed, favored, and victorious.
I have a great Christ for my need.
Your life is beautiful, and to live it, you only need to do this: trust Jesus and His love for you. Live simply by living loved. Don’t let your fear of the future, fear of paying bills, fear of not getting what you want, or any kind of fear distract you from God’s faithfulness. Don’t let these worries and impending challenges distort the wholeness and holiness and beauty of Jesus. He is who He is and your situation do not change that. He is still good, holy, merciful, gracious, generous and outrageously in love with you, beloved.
Sometimes, we all need to step back from our routines and spend some time alone. It’s okay to not think about anything. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to pause from the daily rush and let God minister to us through the silence and solitude.
It is in our intimacy with our Savior that we will grow.