I want to share what happened to me last night at Los Baños.
So I was talking to this person, and she was just telling me stories about her life, her issues and her worries. I ended up telling her about my testimony, and all the things God has done for me. To be honest, things started out really, really fine, but halfway, I was starting to get uncomfortable. I wanted to stop our talk. I wanted to go back to my bed, and the book I’m reading.
I knew that God wanted me to stop talking, but then the person said, “You know what, this has been inspiring and I know I need these. Thank you, Pam. But… I don’t know. I get tired of these kind of things easily. It’s not that I’m not interested… but I am not like some of you.” Then she went on saying sorry, and crying. She said she was afraid that she hurt my feelings. I told her that it was okay, that she was not the first person to tell me those stuff, that she can stop crying.
And I went back to bed that night, not doing my devotion, not reading anything. I was not able to fall asleep. I was so disappointed with myself. I started thinking I won’t ever be able to do anything right again. I won’t be able to share to her again after what happened.
Then this morning, I left Los Baños very, very early. I still wasn’t over what happened last night. At the bus, I realized that I haven’t talked to God yet, because I was too busy condemning myself. That moment, God told me, "Even when people always reject you, I still love you. Even when you do things wrong, hey, look up, it’s not yet over. I love you, and I don’t judge you."
Then HA. I cried in the bus. God loves me, and after all the things that happened, He still does. Nothing changed.
As Christ’s ambassadors, people will not always understand us. Sometimes, we get misinterpreted. Sometimes, we get rejected. And you know what? It doesn’t matter if it’s your fault, or theirs. You can’t go on condemning yourself, or denying the love and forgiveness that God has for you. He doesn’t judge you, beloved. There are more opportunities, there are greater things, and there are comebacks that God has set for you.
So don’t give up. Don’t stop.
Jesus died out of His love for you, not out of your service, your love, or your faithfulness to Him. That’s what matters. Let His love be your motivation, your foundation and your reason for everything. Let nothing shake you, beloved. God is for you. And HIS LOVE, is your greatest asset.
So, I’m at peace now. I know that my Father is a God of many chances, and I won’t be discouraged. I will still share His love at every opportunity that is given to me, and I won’t depend my security and joy at the results. I know that God is the one working inside people’s hearts. Not me. It’s up to Him, and I will trust Him.