I’ve experienced many challenges before. I’ve known what it’s like to have nothing, to have all odds against you, or to have all hope lost. But never, as in never, in my whole entire life have I come to an understanding of these three words that is much deeper than I understand them now.
It happened in my first week in UPLB. I was so intimidated, seeing all those people who are much better than me and all that. They have more experience. A higher IQ. Greater confidence. Before the start of every class, I would look around and pray, “Lord, be my wisdom. I don’t know what to do.” Honestly, I was afraid of my professors, and the SystemOne. I was worrying quite a lot.
There came a time when I was battling against idea of coming home that weekend. “I might not want to go back to school,” I tell myself. Well, I’m not that strong, and I really wanted to get out of there. I was so pressured, so agitated, so… I don’t know. I was not myself. I wanted to escape. I felt so alone.
Then, I thought of God. Of my Savior. I realized that He understood what I was going through. He knew how badly I will do when left on my own in this huge university. He knew how hopeless I feel. He foresaw all the setbacks that I will experience there. Then I knew it was HIM, convicting me to not give up.
To not step down the challenge. To not admit defeat. To not back down just because people are so high above you. Don’t escape. Don’t run away. Don’t easily admit what you cannot do. Don’t create conclusions. Don’t predict what’s the next bad thing that will happen to you next because God’s not done yet. And you don’t know His ways the way He perfectly knows yours. Don’t give up. Even when you don’t see that it’s possible, don’t stop. It’s not about you. It’s about Jesus, through Jesus, for Jesus, by Jesus, in Jesus. Never you.
I wish I can explain it quite fully, but it’s difficult. I can’t put that moment in words. God’s love was so overwhelming. It’s like He has told me, “I don’t care about what others can do, or what you cannot do. I don’t care about your grades. I don’t care about how imperfect and inconsistent you are. Do you know that I love you? And I hate seeing you fail. Don’t give up, daughter, because I destined you for greater things than these. Don’t give up, and don’t worry, beloved, because I am going to help you.” I nearly cried in the CAS Annex 2 Building.
God is so good, beloved. He is so good and so in love with you. Just because people don’t expect something from you, doesn’t mean you have to accept that you’re only that. No. You’re destined for much greater things, and God knows that. He has the final say to your life, so trust Him. Believe Him when He says you have to try and He won’t fail you. Believe Him when He says that even when you’re tired of failing, something beautiful is bound to come up with it.
Hey! He is faithful, so don’t ever, ever, give up, just because of what you think or what you feel, because God opens opportunities for His children, and your fears are just the enemy’s way of trying to rob you of your hope. So don’t give up. Ever. God is going to reveal so many things to you.