I know that You know what I’m feeling and thinking right now, and I’m sorry for being weak. God, there are times that I get carried away by what I see and feel, and start to worry. “Where will I go from here? What if everything goes wrong and I fail?”
When these thoughts start invading my heart and seem to start taking over my life, lift up my face, oh Dad. Wipe these tears and stupid emotions away and remind me that I am your beloved child. That you love me despite of who I am, my insecurities, hurts and fears. That you can turn my life around and lift me up from the place I’ve fallen. Stay with me, Dad. Embrace me in your arms and never let me go. I love you, and without you, I am weak. I need you, Father.
I am tired of being hurt. I am tired of being put to shame. I am tired of carrying around a broken heart. I am tired of hearing people saying how stupid, pathetic, worthless, and useless I am— I am absolutely tired of all the painful words they throw at me. I am tired of being told that everything I do is all in vain.
I am tired of my fragile heart, and now I’m offering it to You.
Dad, teach me how to turn a deaf ear to all the jeers, lies, and taunts I hear. Teach this heart to turn directly to You, not anyone else, for comfort and strength. Many times you have proved that it’s You I can only lean on during storms. It’s Your shoulder I can cry on. I can tell you everything without you looking at me in disgust, reproach, or disappointment. I know all these because You alone can understand Dad.
Change me, Lord. Change me that I may bear Your armor as I face the world and all the evil that lies in it. I want to be your missionary in this place.
(This was during our Values period, when the teacher asked us to draw an object that best describes us. I was really moved by my dear friend’s message.)