Right now, I don’t know what to do.
I am not yet enrolled; I’d been praying to God to make the processing of my forms faster so that I can move on to paying my tuition fee. However, it’s been two days, and my forms 5 and 26 are still stuck in a pile of documents in the office of our college’s secretary. I asked Him to handle my enrolment; so far, however, I had not been feeling His interventions. I’m tempted to be troubled, worried, and preoccupied with the things that I have to deal with.
So far, the steps of faith I’ve taken have led to disappointment. There are two remaining days ‘til the deadline. There are still classes to attend, homework to accomplish, lines to fall into, and papers to be processed. I don’t know if I have enough time.
I’ve asked so much from God, but received only one thing from Him: peace. It’s His inexplicable, nerve-wracking, and never-ending peace. I say it’s crazy, because I want to be stressed, I want to worry, I want to vent out on my friends about how worried I am and how many are the things that I see that might make things more difficult for me, but… no. I can’t. I find what’s normal (which is worrying and fearing and grumbling) to be irrational. It’s like I’m submerged in this ocean of revelations about God’s faithfulness and goodness to me personally, and not even multitudes of mishaps and unexpected twists can saturate it.
Right now, I don’t know what else to do. I am trusting in God, rejoicing in His faithfulness, and celebrating His unending goodness. I am waiting, yes; but this wait is worthwhile. I know, so far, nothing has gone my way. I realized, however, that just because God doesn’t do what we want, it doesn’t mean that He’s not doing anything. He is doing something—much greater than we expect, bigger than we’ll ever see. He is causing all things—no exception—to work together for our good.
He knows our needs better than we do and He wants them to be brought to us much more badly than we do. He’s our Father, remember? Fathers do everything to give their children what is best. That’s how good God is. Sometimes, because we don’t see how things will end up, we speculate. We speculate pessimistically. Negatively. We forget our positions in Christ. We forget our inheritance and our kingship in Jesus. We are too intimidated by what’s happening in the present to dare hope for a brighter future. But that’s not how it’s to be, beloved.
We’re not facing all these alone. We have a really great heavenly Father who is willing to give us what’s best. Just because you don’t see anything, doesn’t mean that He’s not there. No. God will always be for you. He is so committed to you, in fact, that even when you’ve decided to sleep, He’s still awake, watching over you.
[This was written on June 18, 2013]
It is Here! I’m doing My very first Free Book Giveaway! I’m Giving away a 5 Book Bundle! INCLUDING AN ESV BIBLE! that is an $80 value! Why am I doing this? I want to further the Kingdom. That is it! NO cost to you!
HERE ARE THE RULES!
1.REBLOG THIS POST
2.READ THE FIVE PART GOSPEL SERIES ON MY BLOG LINKED BELOW (it will take you about 20 minutes. If you don’t want to read about Jesus for 20 minutes chances are you are not going to want 5 books about him. YOU ARE ON THE HONOR SYSTEM
3. THAT’S IT! ONE WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN AT RANDOM. Drawing will be July 1st 2013! I will announce the Winner and then get your Address. I WILL PAY FOR SHIPPING!
THE PRIZE! Why Revival Tarries By Leonard Ravenhill, Intercessory Prayer By Dutch Sheets, Audible Hallucinations By Betsy Meredith Hudgens (an awesome friend of mine!), One God & One Lord By John W. Schoenheit, And an ESV Personal Size Reference Bible (imitation Leather)
All great Books. Hope you Enjoy! Grace and Peace!
The bus is full. I sit in that hard-surfaced space next to the driver. I try to sleep. Then it gets dark. I watch the lights from lampposts and from cars flash as the bus tries to get his way on the road. We ride through tunnels and I love those little seconds that I am submerged in darkness. I watch the buildings, the ads on the back of buses. I feel infinite.
Until the traffic becomes heavy and the journey was too long.
Sometimes good things that happened in the past are forgotten when you’re in a bad situation for too long a time.
The bus is full. I am forced to stand and share the small space in the aisle with people I don’t even know. I rub my hands against my arms to lessen the cold I am feeling. My legs start to hurt. I’ve been standing for almost two hours and the traffic’s getting worse.
The man who is sitting near me starts to curse and to swear. He mutters darkly about the traffic and how annoying everything is. He does not notice the small boy sleeping on the floor below him. He does not notice how comfortable his seat is.
I take a deep breath and look away from him. I watch drops of water slide to clear the condensation on the bus window. I see that it’s beautiful. And I wait. Soon, the times will be better.
And they did.
Please pray for my father. He’s feeling sick right now. Let’s command away what he is feeling in Jesus’ name! Thank you, and you’re greatly blessed, beloved! :)
I feel so full and blessed.
I’ve just been through the first week of classes, away from home, without being able to listen to any worship song, or sermon because my netbook’s speakers are no longer working. Despite that, I feel so full. Jesus is all I have in that place, and He’s always made sure to provide every spiritual food that I need.
I can’t fathom how I’ll put into words here in this blog all those things He’s told and done for me. He is just so simply amazing.